Thursday, May 01, 2003

House Sitting – On Planet Basu

At first I thought that Rekha was sharing a bad “come home from vacation” experience in her April 27th piece.

My friend Uma Sherman came to stay in my house while I was away. She promised to look after the pets. She left the front door open, and the place was looted and ransacked. Priceless family heirlooms and antiques were robbed and smashed.

Whoa dude… so this is really about the US in Iraq, not something that happened in Rekha’s house when her friend Uma watched it. Cool, it’s an analogy… or a parable… or a steaming heap of…

Oh my goodness… Rekha is sooooo bright. “Uma Sherman”… how witty and urbane. You see, it’s a play on “Uma Thurman”, but the initials are “US” for… United States. Incredible! And… I get it now… she’s comparing the liberation of Iraq with Sherman’s march to the sea during the Civil War. Yep, in Iraq we burned down every building in sight, rustled their women, and raped their cattle.

And then she’s referring to the looting of the Iraqi museum, yeah… okay.

"Bummer," said Uma as I agonized over the losses. "Rough neighborhood you live in."

I think those were Tommy Frank’s exact words.

"But you were responsible for protecting my things!" I cried.

No, we were liberating the people of Iraq from a megalomanical dictator.

"I protected the pets, didn't I?" said Uma. "OK, we lost a few goldfish. But you're gonna be thanking me! I got rid of those dreaded neighbors who were getting ready to commit mass destruction. Plus, I rearranged the furniture to make the feng shui right. Injured my back doing it."

“I got rid of those dreaded neighbors…” ???!!!

Okay Rekha, step away from the satire with your hands in plain sight. You could hurt yourself.

On the bright side, this makes your regular work look good. And it goes on and on and on. And I could as well. But I will not. This drivel is not even worth a “Fisking”.

Read it for yourself and you will discover that conducting a war of liberation is really like being a destructive house sitter… that is… on Planet Basu.


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