Make the Big, Mean, Scary Man Go Away

Rekha is wondering why nice politicians (oxymoron alert!) finish last. Must nice guys finish last? is obstensibly about Bob Graham. Truth is the piece is just wrapper for the fact that she's in liberal-Democrat hell over the California recall election.

Ready children? Okay... here's the nice one:

But Graham was nice in an understated, ethically unassailable way. His public service spans nearly four decades, including two terms as Florida's governor and three in the U.S. Senate. He doesn't take cheap shots, and believes so much in working people that since 1974 he's taken 392 "workdays," performing an ordinary person's job. He's family-minded in a way that could seem schmaltzy until you see how utterly devoted his family is to him.

Poor Bob Graham, he's just too good for this world, not to mention the presidential primaries. Not just nice... but understated. Wow! That's exactly what I want in a chief executive. Just like Jimmy Carter. And he likes to work at "ordinary" people's jobs. You know how to recognize "ordinary" people, don't you? They all wear jeans and work shirts, are constantly singing "Blowin' in the Wind" and (to a person) vote the straight Democratic ticket.

Now, Rekha knows that Bob's a good man, because Graham's daughter was on the campaign trail and told her so. She and Rekha had breakfast and Bob's little girl got teary eyed talking about her dad.

Hot damn! I'm voting for this guy!!! He's sooooo nice!!!! Ooops, too late... he's pulled out.

And here's the not-so-nice one:

Then there's vain, brawny Schwarzenegger. No political history, no experience in office. What he has plenty of are allegations of sexual harassment, some of which he admits (he prefers to call it "playful"). He has devoted his time to winning the Mr. Universe title, building his pecs and showing them off in escapism flicks. A self-described salesman, he sold himself to California, spending about $10 million of his own.

Now, you would think that Rekha would like Arnold. He's a first generation, pro-choice, pro gay rights American. Hell, he's European... I thought those guys were always right. He's married to a Kennedy and has an accent light years away from a white bread Midwestern twang.

But, he's a decisive man (vain and brawny to boot) and he doesn't fit Rekha's definition of nice. Nor is the fact that he's way too much of a fiscal conservative for her taste. Nice is everything... if you're male. She likes her male politicians nice and domesticated.

Given my own political predilections, I hope this trend catches on. Social Liberal... Fiscal Conservative. God, that sounds good to me.

However I caught an undertone of something else. I get the impression that Rekha may just a little afraid of and excited by Arnold and his big ol' pecs. Maybe I’ll send her my old VHS copy of Predator. She can watch it while Rob is away in New York. Think of it... that way she can see Arnold and Jesse in the same “escapism flick”.