As I write this, there's a man running down my street firing an assault rifle at a group of school children walking home. Wait... there's another man with an Uzi holding up an old lady crossing the street. Hoo boy! Now they're in a raging firefight.
Oh s#@t... they're heading toward my house.
They've shot the lock off of my door!
No... please, God NOOOOOOOO!!!