Friday, July 08, 2005

Ames High School Student Discovers How to End to All Bad Stuff in Life

How awesome. And it's just so simple:
We can no longer just click off the television set following a half-hour news program filled with murder, rape, torture, theft, and suffering. There are questions we must ask ourselves - what if it were me? What about my friend? Brother? Daughter? Father?

Of course, these questions alone are the main ingredients in a recipe for deep depression. We can neither shield ourselves by ignoring the misery of others nor become so deeply immersed in empathy that we feel too crushed to function.

The only solution that comes to mind would be to eliminate suffering itself. Then we wouldn't have to ignore it or have it keeping us awake at night.
That's it!!! Eliminate suffering simply by changing human nature and ridding the world of evil. Man... why didn't someone think of this before?

Great going Beth! We'll get right on that.

Visit 29 who doesn't take issue with the Fisher Price premise of the piece - but with the questionable source of the kid's huge revelation and why the Register day care provider/editor didn't catch it.

Update: 29 takes Beth to school and exposes her to the Fiskcratic teaching method. Courage Beth... courage.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Mourning Becomes Diane

Saw snippets of Primeitme Live's very special coverage of the London Islamo-Fascist terrorist bombings this evening. The take-home message...? Be really, really sad.

Lots of sad music. Diane Sawyer sighing her way through the program. Man, she was the perfect picture of the grieving mature spokesmodel.

Saw the Ambassador to Kenya who survived the 1998 embassy bombing say how terrorism changes your life forever. You'll never be the same. Now she's helping other victims deal with their fear and... sadness.

Saw Diane henpecking Gov. Pataki - kind of like a wife grilling her milquetoast husband about his nere do well drinking buddies - asking something like "How can you guarantee that the Subways are safe? How can anyone every ride the subway and not be scared... and sad. Sigh..." She was confrontive... but sensitive... not to mention really, really sad.

Now people, don't get mad, okay? Wouldn't want that now. Stay calm. Be passive. Turn inward. Be sad. People are dead, blown up and all and it's sad.

Like, how will we ever go on? I mean people... it's scary and really, really sad when this kind of stuff happens.
And this kind of coverage is just. what. the. bastards. want.

Update: And Scary... did I mention scary?

Another Update: From Daniel Henniger's 7/8 Wonderland Column:
For bin Laden and al-Zarqawi, the relatively small bombs they set off in Iraq or London are a second-grade weapon. Their large-bore weapons in the terror war are modern electronic news technology and, ironically, open democratic societies.
Thanks again Diane.
Tony Blair

Responding this morning to the London Underground bombings:
We shall prevail. And they shall not
He appeared to be shaken, angry and full of resolve. Don't expect another Spanish bug-out.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Cynicism Rocks!

Go visit IowaEnnui at "things going round and round" and find out exactly how.
Have a Safe, Sane, Docile, Domesticated and Easily Led 4th of July!

The Register has come out with it's annual "Leave Fireworks for the Professionals" Editorial.

This just in - Fireworks can be dangerous... ya morons.!!!

Who's their contributing expert...? Oh, one of the usual suspects... a pediatric ER doc. Kind of like having a head and neck surgeon write a column for "Cigar Aficionado".

Look, there's some common sense stuff in the piece. But it's stuff that's so obvious that it seems pointless to mention - unless the REB thinks their readers are idiots.

And that can't possibly be it... right?

Look, I'm sick to death of the ever expanding application of "Public Health" to prohibit any activity that can cause injury or death.
While death is rare, thousands of people in the United States are injured by fireworks every year, some left blind or with permanent hearing impairment or amputated fingers.
And hold on there partner - I'm not talking about activities that can harm some unconnected third party, okay.

I'm tired of the look at the cute poster girl - it's FOR THE CHILDREN uh... "argument".
It's not hard to imagine a 4-year-old holding a sparkler too close and catching her dress on fire.
Oh jebus.

And I'm really, really sick of arguments like "... well, you don't have to do it... it's not like breathing, drinking water or eating after all..." that the nanny-state media uses to suck all of the fun out of life. And, by the way... they ARE going after the eating thing. Better start hoarding those Twinkies and Ding Dongs now!

Look, fireworks are fun in no small part because they are dangerous.
"They are totally fascinated with explosions and bright lights,"
That's the ER doc's comment, giving his expert opinion on children 14 and under. Er, you could apply that statement to most human beings and almost all males - well, at least the ones that have been able to resist assimilation into the Metrosexual Collective.

And, like I commented here:
There is a practical reason that make fireworks are a good thing. Human beings SHOULD KNOW HOW TO SAFELY HANDLE THINGS THAT ARE DANGEROUS. Certain things should be treated with a great amount of respect. There is survival value in this. Pay attention, this could hurt you. It’s also (in a low whisper…) part of the fun.

Fireworks do not kill, Rekha. Recklessness and stupidity kill. And when you try to take everything dangerous out the hands of the general populace, what do you breed…? Stupidity and recklessness.
So, gentle readers... DO be safe, but... Light 'em up!

Happy Independence Day!!!